From The Mud Puddle

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

As I keep writing the date today there is no where my mind can roam except to this below. It's been 20 years now.

Reposted from three years ago

Saturday, April 16, 2005

When we are born, we are given a blank slate of days before us. The only day that becomes marked right away is the actual day of our birth. As time goes along, life marks assorted days with events...our first tooth, our first steps, our first day of school, our last day of school...graduations, anniversaries, birthdays...and deaths.Today is one such day for me. Today 17 years ago, on a Saturday much like today, my father had a massive heart attack as he was mowing the yard. He died instantly. In an instant he stepped from this side of eternity to the next.

I was 21 years old, and newly married. I was on my way to my parent's house to do laundry, unaware. He had died as I was driving over there, after Jay had left for work. There had not even been time to try to call me or my siblings. I pulled around the familiar curve of our street as it led to our house. The sight still is as vivid as that day. It was a cool spring day, much as today was. The sun was shining brightly. There was an ambulance in the driveway and another emergency rescue vehicle. My heart gave a leap. I thought for sure it was something wrong with my mother as she had just had surgery earlier in the week. A long time neighbor met me in the yard and said, "Go in quickly, your mother needs you".

As I rushed inside in search of my mother, I found her in the back yard. My father was laying on the ground covered by a white sheet. Shivers and screams went off inside of me. Silent, I stood there for a moment staring at my father, that had just passed. My mother saw me, and came to me...and we both went to her bedroom, away from everything and everyone for a few minutes. We held each other close. It was around 3 PM that afternoon.

Today as the day passed, I remembered silently off and on those first moments alone without my earthly father. I remembered the sights and sounds...and sobs. I remember that first night that no one slept ...though we went through the motions sleeping in the living room together. My mother slept on the couch as she didn't want to sleep in the bed she had shared with my dad alone. I remember about 6 AM asking my mom if we could get up...I was tired of trying to sleep, only sobbing instead. I miss my dad, have ever sense that day. He is one of the heroes of my life and was a great provider for our family. While he didn't do everything right, he was right with God through Jesus Christ.

I remember sometime after this day, a day marked in my history forevermore, God giving me the verse in Psalms..68:5 Father to the fatherless, defender of widows--this is God, whose dwelling is holy.I realized more than ever that my Heavenly Father was my Father and would care for us. Even though I was married, I had a lot to learn still about life...and God, my Heavenly Father assured me that He would show me the path to take, and the ways to go.

So as I remember my earthly father that is in heaven (holding my three little ones no less, I'm sure) ....I give praise to my Heavenly Father that my earthly father is with Him, and that I am adopted by God as His child through Jesus Christ, our Lord, the Father to the fatherless.

2 comment(s):

This is so sad, but very inspirational as well. I am sorry for your loss, but pleased that your wonderful memories and faith have sustained you.

By Blogger MSM, at 7:46 PM, April 16, 2008  

Thanks MSM. You know it's more a remembering and honoring than any thing else. Sometimes it's just good to remember where we were so we can see how far we've come....and remember how good God has been to us through it all.

By Blogger Muddy, at 12:05 AM, April 17, 2008  

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